Men Know More but Women Understand Better!!
Men Know More but Women Understand Better
There was an old couple who lived a 35 years of happy married life and had fulfilled all their duties towards their children. In our Hindu culture four ashrams are expected to follow. This couple have completed their first two ashrams so wanted to continuetheir life with the third one that is Vanprasthashrama. The couple left their family, home and went to a forest and started staying in a hut. The couple really lives like Vanprasthi. The wife of the old man gave away all her jwellery to her daughter-in-law and daughter. The old man distributed his all bank balance and savings between his son and daughter. They came to the forest only with a pair of cloths and a few essential medicines with them. Their daily routine was set up. Daily they used to do prayers and read holy books like BhagvatGeeta and used to teach small children of Aadivasi families there. They used to discuss between them about what they have read in the holy books. Usually husband used to read and wife used to listen.( The husband might have tired of listening and the wife might have tired of talking for whole Grihasthashrama) It was her husband's impression that his wife doesn't know mush so doesn't understand much about the philosophy explained in the holy books. So he used to explain her with enthusiasm.
One fine day they decided to walk till the other end of the forest and return by evening. So they started walking towards the other direction. In between they had to cross a dense forest. The husband was walking ahead and his wife was following him. After certain distance, they entered in the dense part of the forest. The husband was trying to search the way ahead through the forest. Suddenly, he noticed something shining on the earth. So he picked it up and found that it was a Gold coin. He felt happy and reminded that for Vanprasthi people gold, money is just like soil. They should not keep it. He thought that he should immediately hide that coin from his wife's sight otherwise she would feel to keep the Gold coin with her. So he immediately hided it and threw it behind a tree nearby. His wife saw that her husband has thrown something so she asked him about it. He told her about the Gold Coin and immediately told the philosophy told in the holy books as well. After listening to him the wife smiled and said that she also had seen the Gold coin from long distance but she ignored it because Vanprasthi should not recognise the difference between the soil and the Gold.
The husband was knowing the philosophy but his wife had better understood it.
Women in the 1990s – Names
Women in the 1990s – Names
This is a collection of letters written as opinions for the process of selecting a name after one’s marriage or naming to one’s own children. Many interesting options have come up regarding this change of names such as: putting middle name as husband’s name and last name as maiden name, not changing maiden name, putting a hyphen between husband’s name and maiden name, putting mother’s maiden name as child’s last name or together with mother’s and father’s name. The letters are written from varied groups in Philadelphia.
First letter is from Charlene McGrady who continued her maiden name after her marriage. She got married at the age of 33 when she was well established professionally, personally and financially. After her marriage she did find her life changed in a better sense but could not find any valid reason to change her well developed identity by changing her name. Hence she decided to continue her maiden name as her last name. Her husband also did not object for this and supported her view by saying that he had married her and not adopted her. For her daughter she gave her husband’s last name.
Second letter is from Liza M. Rodriguez Lavergne. This lady has a family tradition of women not changing their names after marriage as her grandmother and mother kept their maiden name even after their marriage. She was raised by her parents by reciting the names of four generations from each side. Her point is that keeping names from both maternal and paternal sides leads us to remember the names of a few generations of our ancestors. She also did not change her maiden name after marriage, except that she started putting her mother’s name in front of her maiden name on official documents, certificates. For their children her husband and she decided to keep names of both of them.
Third one is from Amy Verstappen. After her marriage she did not change her maiden name but decided to give her last name to her child. She thought this out logically. Her husband had plenty of relatives with his name but in her family after her and her sister their name was about to vanish. Her husband also supported her decision. Many people were shocked by this decision and asked different questions to both of them. Some of them asked that whether the child is from her husband or not? Or doesn’t her husband want to pass on his name to future generations? Though this decision was disputable for their society, they continued with it.
The fourth letter is from Spencer Clayton who is still unmarried. He told firmly that after his marriage his wife has to take his name and so should the child. His parents had divorced due to which he had suffered a lot by different kinds of irritating questions from people. He doesn’t want his child to face similar kind of problem. Moreover, if parents have different names then people might think that the child’s parents are not married. He would not mind if his wife wants to keep her maiden name along with his name as her last name.
The fifth letter is written by a lady named Amann Talerico who married in 1996. Both, she and her husband had come up with a totally novel idea of interchanging their middle names like adopting husband’s name by wife and wife’s maiden name by husband as their middle names keeping the last names same. She justifies their decision by saying that she is well established researcher with publications in her maiden name. It would have been much easier to change the middle name just to symbolize the marriage and change due to it. For their child they decided to give names of both as the child’s middle name though initially they found it difficult to see to have a name for their child different from their own names.
The last one is from Patricia Dixon who supported the traditional change in name very logically. According to her marriage is union of two souls and after marriage husband and wife no longer remain as separate entities. The family with husband, wife and their children represents a unit in the society which is symbolized by their one name. This feeling of one unit, one cannot get with hyphenated names from both sides that show a discrete nature of society. According to her giving a woman’s maiden name to a family doesn’t make a major difference except creating great confusion. Hence she concludes that the traditional way of changing the last names represents the real meaning of marriage and family.
Before reading these letters, I had no ideas about changing names after marriage. However, it raised various questions in my mind. Certainly, the point raised by Patricia in support of traditional method regarding representation of a unit by a family and its name has a strong appeal. However, how is it confusing if a family is given a woman’s maiden name? After all if having name of only one family is important for a united picture in the society, then why not a woman’s name? If marriage means to merge completely in one another then what is wrong in adopting a woman’s name as a family name? Is there any biological reason to have a name of a man’s family after marriage instead of a woman’s? The common point put by Charlene and Karen about not changing their names because they did not find any valid point in changing their well established identity for practical purposes, I feel is correct. Also if not a single man is ready to change his well established identity then why women do have to do this? Another common point of keeping hyphenated names such as keeping both maiden and husband’s name and for children putting both names together, I feel is a bit problematic. Everywhere they have to write their long hyphenated name which is totally impractical. The concept of changing names and starting a new life with new names is acceptable but to change only woman’s name is not acceptable. I remembered one of my friends who did not like her maiden name so when she got married she told her husband to keep a name of her choice. One of my cousin sisters has not changed her name after marriage and writes her maiden name everywhere. I feel that change of name is completely a private affair and different views by different people are possible. One cannot make a generalization or compulsion regarding it.
Running.....
We are so busy in doing things one-by-one. There is no chance of taking rest. I mean even if we think that ok! after my MBBS I will take a break of one year and then will think what to do next. Oh No!! are you foolish! my other mind echoed in me. How can you think of thinking what to do after your MBBS? It's obvious that you have to do MD. Just like how people who complete their BE just go blindly for ME or MBA or MTech. Who thinks about their own interests?? Oh! that is why there are so many Doctors in film industry, theater industry....even in tv serials. After getting the degree they get the realisation that the degree which is taken by them is not really of their own interest.
Hummmm!! It's quite tricky. If we take time to think what exactly we want to do in our own life (apart from earning money) we will loose our own time....at least we have that fear..........Yes, I remember, when I passed class-X, I couldn't get time to take rest.......I mean which I was needed very badly. Why? ....because I was suffering from jondice and that also for about 6-7 months. My father asked me to take a gap and then appear for 11th (Science...English medium) but I couldn't afford the idea itself. I immediately replied....No! all my friends will go ahead of me and I will be behind by one year. At the same time I am remembering that during ancient times.....people used to take a break of one or two years for the sake of their health. I was remembering the name of Mr Bal Gagadhar Tilak......who took a break of a year to recover his health and then proceeded in life. Did he lagged behind during his time??............if not then why we think in that way................Our life has become so fast that we cann't even afford any time to think about our life. Where are we running?..........behind what?? or are we running away from ourselves?? or trying to run ahead of time??
Time is Flying!!
I heard the bang of the big bell on the wall of the college library just opposite to my room's window. Being in half sleep, still in understanding state...struggling to get out of bed, I looked outside my window. It was so pale atmosphere it seemed that it was about to become dark...and I heard the bell ringing four times. Suddenly I looked at the same wall clock which was showing 4 O'clock.
I was disappointed. I was sleeping for whole night and almost whole day. I was sure, I lost a day in my life. I thought to call Mansi, one of my college friends, but suddenly noticed that she will be in the department. I heard a sound of opening the lock of the opposite door. Thought........ Mamta returned from the lab...usually in November she returns at around 4.00 p.m. Today I wanted to search some articles in the journals from the university library, but my whole day was gone. I missed a day in my life. I was horrified and feeling depressed.
In that haste I logged on to the laptop and tried to find whether anybody was online. Purosefully, I kept Indian time in my laptop. Something was wrong. In the haste I changed the time to 10.30 at night (IST). It was very strange none of my friends except Priya, one of the friends from Pune, was online. Due to disappointment, I wanted to talk desperately to somebody...so pinged Priya. I asked her, how come you are online at 10.30 p.m.? because usually she used to be online in her office hours. She replied...No! it's not 10.30 p.m., now I am in the office and it's 1.38 p.m. (IST). I tried to clarify her but she told me that it's 1.30p.m. To confirm the time I just looked again at the same wall clock outside my window..............and it was showing....8.08 a.m.
I realiesed what would have happened. Still outside the light was very dim. It was November in UK........so depressing and pale atmosphere. I might have heard half of the bell ringing and was in half sleep so saw (in a haste) 4.00 O'clock instead 8.00 O'clock. Probably Mamta was going to the lab and I thought she is coming from the lab. Now I was completely awake.
I immediately thanked Priya and logged out. I was so happy that I did not missed one day of my life and felt relaxed and proceeded for the dayily routine.
During those 10 minutes I was really disappointed and depressed by realising loss of a day! If I would have really been sleeping and would have lost a day in my life??......How starge is the time......due to the outside darkness I felt that it is evening.......but it was not.
How important TIME is in our lives!! We all know that it is flying like anything.................before this I also was knowing the truth about time......but I really cann't express my feeling when I realised that!!
A Beautiful Mind!!
It's really a beautiful story of a developing journey of a beautiful mind. It's a story of transformation of acold arogant genius youth to a warm caring old aged passing through a disastrous path of insanity.....it's a story of development of a relationship which initially needed a legal certificate (broken legaly in between) to more intimate with complete understanding of eachother without any legal certificate. It's a story of damaged childhoods, of two sons of a Nobel Laurate, which has put deep impressions on their lives. It's a story of a love which didn't get the desired recognition. It's a story of development of a girlish infatuation which has servived the disillusionments, hardships and disappointments, in to a strong mature supporting love. It's a story of an honest struggle for a prize which had been done unknowingly. It's a story of strong realisations of the realities of a life........
It's simply beautiful........
Dreamy!!
That day, as usual, standing on footboard of the local I was observing the rush outside. One young girl was running towards the local train to catch it. The time was too short, so I thought she might miss it and was watching. The train moved and the girl caught hold of the handle and placed one foot on the same footboard where I was standing.There was no alternative remaining other than giving her support to catch the train. So I did. It was quite risky for her. It seems she was ignorant about it. "If I would have missed this train, I would have got a third late mark"..she replied to my questioning face. "If, I would have been late to give you support, then everybody in the train would have got a late mark today, what about that? " I replied to her answer. Then she realised that if she would have missed one step then due to the accident train would have been late. She smiled at me.
She was good looking but seemed to be used to taking risks. I thought that I must ask her name and continue the conversation, but stopped myself as she might think about me in the otherway. Such type of girls are really dengerous. After getting the help if by chance you meet the same girl at some other place and if you try to talk to her, she don't even show that she has seen you somewhere. You have to observe total blank face and get the akward feeling.
I met the same girl again after four days in the same train and surprisingly she recognised me. We talked in general and I asked her, her phone number. She replied that there is no use of calling in the office as our manager doesn't like it. The topic remained halfway and she got down. Slowly slowly we developed some friendship as we used to catch the same trains for our offices. Many times she would catch the train in a hurry and sometimes if she will be on time, she would feel sorry that she couldn't collect the tifine though it was ready. Her name was Madhuri Gokhale.
One fine day she looked very much worried. So I asked her the reason. She replied that she doesn't like strikes but unwillingly she has to join the strike in the office. It seemed that she was sincere about her work. I calmed down her by telling that your authority will come to know that you have joined the strike unwillingly. So not to worry!! Such communication continued for two-three months. We were knowing our timings and and we used to wait for eachother. Meantime I was not knowing anything about her except her name.
One evening I met her on Chuchgate train station. It seems she was waiting for me. I asked her. She said, " Will you do one favour for me?" I asked ,"what's that?" she replied, " Will you convey a message to my home that today I will be late". I asked her, " why? Any special program with friends? as it is the day of salary" She replied, "No, not special but going out". It seemed she was not interested to tell much. I took her address and decided to go to her house to convey the message. I got down at the Borivali station and walked out in the direction she told. I found that her house was very far from the train station.
Finally I reached her house. Mr Gokhale, an old man wearing a dhoti opened the door. Her financial condition was not too good. I replied to his questioning face, "I came to convey a messageof your daughter, today she will be late". I tried to tell him that please tell your daughter that don't try to catch the train in a hurry as life is more important than the job. When her father heard this, I saw tears in his eyes. He asked me, " Since how many days do you know my daughter?" I answered, "3-4 months and we use to meet in the train. Once I helped her in catching the train...etc." Her father said, "yes, she told me that. But one thing I want to tell you that she doesn't have a job." I was shocked to here that. He continued, "I don't have a son. She is the only daughter. In fun I used to say that she is my son. This thing hamppered her mind. After completing her graduation she couldn't get a job. But she wished to have one. So she pretends everyday that she has a job. She has become mad. Everyday she goes out at the office time. Catch the train in a hurry just like office people. She talks about the life in the office. In a way she tries to live a life of a person who has a job, but on the day of the salary all the persons get the salary except her as she doesn't have any job. Every month on the day of salary she comes late. She always send her message with anybody. Today she has sent the message with you."
I was shocked by listening this and felt deeply sorry for her. I couldn't do anything for Madhuri as she was reveling in a dream from which nobody could wake her up.
One Day!!
One day!
Will you listen to my earthly wish
By your senses of sky?
One day!
Will you listen carefully to my mind's song
By your senses of heart?
One day!
Will you read the emotions in my eyes
By your visionary eyes?
Quotes 3
Quotes 3
* When the student is ready, the teacher will appear
* The best way to win is to not need to win
* Seek the truth and the truth shall set you free
* The best way to gain knowledge is to read for not gaining it
The Desire
The Desire
Desire, when it seems from the heart and spirit, when it is pure and intense, possesses awesome electromagnetic energy. This energy is released into the ether each night, as the mind falls into the sleep state. Each morning it returns to the conscious state reinforced with the cosmic currents. That which has been imaged will surely and certainly be manifested.
----------By A P J Abdul Kalam
(Wings of fire)
A Friend
Whenever I come across the term friend I get mixed impression. I have different experiences about friends and so I get confused when I try to divide the word FRIEND
F = Faithful = Fake
R = Reliable = Rude
I = Intimate = Insensible
E = Empathetic = Egoistic
N = Non-egoistic = Nasty
D = Dignified = Dangerous
Nowadays this word has become so loose that anybody can become friend of you. We have to be careful in identifying the difference between the blues and greens.